The internet is full of stories vying for your attention. Here are some links that backfired, in no way whatsoever enticing me to click on them.Tumblr (3.0; @thingsididntclick)http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbmhfdknZZ1rrlpkno1_400.png"/><br/><br/><p>CNN: “<a href="http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2012/10/08/these-chorizos-are-huge-how-paul-ryans-sausage-gets-made/">‘These chorizos are huge!’ – how Paul Ryan’s sausage…</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/33243315232http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/33243315232Tue, 09 Oct 2012 11:58:42 -0700CNNTell me ALL about Paul Ryan's sausage.<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_masfdsp3xl1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>InformationWeek</em>: “<a href="http://www.informationweek.com/mobility/smart-phones/nokia-kicks-apples-map-in-the-apps/240007751">Nokia Kicks Apple’s Map In The Apps</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/32140834901http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/32140834901Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:57:46 -0700InformationWeekoh geez not in the appsanywhere but there ;___;<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma5oj55SJy1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p>NBCNews.com (blog): “<a href="http://photoblog.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/09/10/13783100-do-i-look-fat-curiosity-rover-checks-its-belly-on-mars">‘Do I look fat?’ Curiosity rover checks its belly on Mars</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/31295600170http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/31295600170Mon, 10 Sep 2012 15:45:12 -0700NBCNews.com (blog)No you don't.You're not even a person.Why would you.<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9veg9aptE1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>The Christian Science Monitor</em>: “<a href="http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Food/2012/0727/Are-you-a-real-foodie-Take-our-quiz/What-is-a-prix-fixe-menu">Are you a real foodie? Take our quiz!</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30944074563http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30944074563Wed, 05 Sep 2012 12:00:17 -0700The Christian Science MonitorI'm sorry but the quiz indicates you are a fake foodie with delusions of taste buds.Better luck next time!<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9pobary5y1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>The New York Times</em>: “<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/01/movies/at-cat-video-film-festival-stars-purr-for-close-ups.html">At Cat Video Film Festival, Stars Purr for Close-Ups</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30741595603http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30741595603Sun, 02 Sep 2012 11:57:15 -0700The New York TimesThere is actually an interesting discussion about recontextualization and how one enjoys art in this story.You will never figure that out from this headline.<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9k1zaaqxX1rrlpkno1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>USA Today</em>: “<a href="http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/news/story/2012-08-29/erotica-trend-fifty-shades-of-grey/57416594/1">A nation founded by Puritans, which once banned DH Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover as too spicy, has developed an insatiable appetite for the joys of erotic romance.</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30532858746http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30532858746Thu, 30 Aug 2012 12:00:47 -0700USA TodayTwilight fanfiction has truly ascended to historical importance.<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9hvjgnl5L1rrlpkno1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>The Washington Post</em> (blog): “<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012/wp/2012/08/28/rick-santorum-loves-talking-about-hands/">Rick Santorum loves talking about hands</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30465949931http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/30465949931Wed, 29 Aug 2012 11:55:18 -0700The Washington Post (blog)Someone actually spent time compiling quotes for this article.Think about that.<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m91inbWA991rrlpkno1_400.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>Forbes</em>: “<a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/andygreenberg/2012/08/13/want-an-rfid-chip-implanted-into-your-hand-heres-what-the-diy-surgery-looks-like-video/">Want An RFID Chip Implanted Into Your Hand? Here’s What The DIY Surgery …</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29910740940http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29910740940Tue, 21 Aug 2012 11:56:17 -0700Forbesphrase that should never appear in any context: ''DIY surgery''<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8zocezZUV1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>The Wall Street Journal</em>: “<a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444900304577577192843536780.html">Forget the Web, Start-Ups Get Real</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29841363184http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29841363184Mon, 20 Aug 2012 11:55:28 -0700The Wall Street Journalhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUH3JQjcweM<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8y4ueWe2k1rrlpkno1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>MyBroadband: “<a href="http://mybroadband.co.za/news/general/57615-what-do-steve-jobs-and-a-clown-have-in-common.html">What do Steve Jobs and a clown have in common?</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29771874249http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29771874249Sun, 19 Aug 2012 11:57:16 -0700MyBroadbandA: I don't want to shoot either in the face for posing this question.<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8y47puDvB1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p>Zee News: “<a href="http://zeenews.india.com/entertainment/celebrity/shia-labeouf-girlfriend-argue-on-the-street_117408.htm">Shia LaBeouf, girlfriend argue on the street</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29704516815http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29704516815Sat, 18 Aug 2012 11:56:22 -0700Zee NewsBREAKING NEWS: ''Relationships are complicated'' says science<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8w0r0uGbf1rrlpkno1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>BBC News: “<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19292934">Ecuador’s decision to grant Julian Assange asylum occupies the papers with the Times portraying the Wikileaks’ founder as a superhero - naked except for a flag of Ecuador.</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29642664455http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29642664455Fri, 17 Aug 2012 14:12:03 -0700BBC Newscover art concepts that make me scream in agony<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8ubsq0XFB1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>Time</em>: “<a href="http://nation.time.com/2012/08/16/health-insurance-switzerland-has-its-own-kind-of-obamacare-and-loves-it/">Switzerland Has Its Own Kind of Obamacare — and Loves It</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29564925759http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29564925759Thu, 16 Aug 2012 11:57:02 -0700TimeI hear in Switzerland they call it ''health care.''<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8qe4ffEXg1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p>U.S. News & World Report: “<a href="http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/susan-milligan/2012/08/13/i-wish-usa-basketball-had-lost-in-the-olympics">I Wish U.S.A. Basketball Had Lost in the Olympics</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29430013534http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29430013534Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:51:46 -0700U.S. News &amp; World ReportI wish /!\ CONTROVERSIAL OPINION LINKBAIT /!\ wasn't a thing that existed.<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8mon93cvO1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p>ESPN: “<a href="http://espn.go.com/olympics/summer/2012/espnw/story/_/id/8232063/espnw-gabby-douglas-hair-criticized-social-media-sites">Gabby Douglas’ hair draws criticism</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29300788744http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29300788744Sun, 12 Aug 2012 17:41:28 -0700ESPNcriticisms that cannot possibly belong in civilized human discourse<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8kxx7LrKW1rrlpkno1_400.png"/><br/><br/><p>News.com.au: “<a href="http://www.news.com.au/national/great-body-fine-head-women-discover-the-joys-of-drinking-beer/story-fndo4bst-1226447871195">Great body, fine head: Women find joy in beer</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29208838223http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29208838223Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:53:48 -0700News.com.auAre you talking about the ladies or the beer there?Oh right the answer is misogyny.<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8h7d7UPTI1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p>TechNewsWorld: “<a href="http://www.technewsworld.com/story/75855.html">Facebook Friends Court to Argue 1st Amendment Protects ‘Likes’</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29138188781http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29138188781Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:56:52 -0700TechNewsWorldI kind of feel like I should be a little impressed by punning on amicus briefs.Not enough to cancel out the searing rage though.<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8h88cFl6c1rrlpkno1_400.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>Idaho Statesman</em>: “<a href="http://www.idahostatesman.com/2012/08/09/2223537/5-reasons-why-nasas-mohawk-guy.html">5 reasons why NASA’s ‘Mohawk Guy’ is a celebrity</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29066781132http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/29066781132Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:50:00 -0700Idaho StatesmanMan I'd hate to have been the poor sap assigned this one.1). Mohawk.2). .................... mohawk?<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8bqkkQlOj1rrlpkno1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>Wyndham Weekly</em>: “<a href="http://www.wyndhamweekly.com.au/news/national/national/general/apple-cloud-burst-how-hacker-wiped-mats-life/2644187.aspx">Apple cloud burst: how hacker wiped Mat’s ‘life’</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/28850205583http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/28850205583Mon, 06 Aug 2012 11:59:00 -0700Wyndham WeeklyContext for this: Mat Honan's iCloud account was hacked and his devices were remote wiped.So yes let's go with a super clever weather pun!<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8a3lnX7hH1rrlpkno1_250.png"/><br/><br/><p><em>The New York Times</em>: “<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/us/fairs-like-crops-are-drooping-with-the-heat.html">Fairs, Like Crops, Are Drooping With the Heat</a>”</p>http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/28779181720http://thingsididntclick.tumblr.com/post/28779181720Sun, 05 Aug 2012 11:49:52 -0700The New York TimesNice attempt at being flowery!Next time pick a somewhat less shitty metaphor.